Meaningless...?

"All is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 12:9

Sometimes (for me at least) life feels that way; meaningless.  I don't know my purpose and calling here on earth.  I feel so restless and unfulfilled.  What's the point of dreams if there's no way they'll ever come true?  What's the point of dreaming if you must wake again to the monotony of reality?  What am I here for?  How can I prepare for the future if I have no clue whatsoever What I may be doing in the next year/decade...?

I'm tired of being bored.
I'm tired of having dreams that I can't turn into goals.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of monotony.
I'm tired of wanting the impossible.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing out on life.
I'm tired of feeling restless.
I'm tired of feeling unfulfilled.
I'm tired of being so busy and filling my life with things that don't make me feel better, but just distract me for the moment.
I'm tired of complaining about how I'm feeling.
So I'm done.
I don't have a solution to my problems, but my God does.
Maybe I should start seeking Him to fill the void inside of me instead of trying to fill it with all that is meaningless.
I tend to get so caught up in the way I feel and my 'problems' that I forget to keep my eyes on the One who put me on this earth and gave me a purpose.  The One who is calling me to greatness.
Perhaps its time for some repentance and a change of perspective.
Maybe everything's not so meaningless after all...

"Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved priviledge where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory."
Romans 5:2

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."
Philippians 3:13

"But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness."
2 Peter 3:13

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come."
Hebrews 13:14

Beth

P.S.  It's truly amazing how just writing this out totally changed my mood from being mopish and depressed to feeling hope and looking forward to tomorrow (or I guess later today...)

Cossroads

"What's life about anyway", is the question in my mind. Is it about giving all you can to make the word a better place to live? Is it about self-satisfaction and self-gratification; doing what I want and trying to make myself happy? I just don't know.
I look ahead on the road of life and see so many paths I could take; too many choices! Some are broad and straight, while others are narrow and winding. Some go uphill, some go down, and others are hidden by trees and brush. Some look easy to follow with no great destination, while others have ends so inviting, but paths filled with rocks and thornbushes.
I wonder then, is the end really worth the pain and struggle? Seemingly all these roads have tollbooths at their starts and some farther on as well. Many accept a toll greater than I can afford. This does nothing to help my decision, but may even hinder it. Mayhap I have a destiny down one of those roads...
What is my purpose on this earth? Where does my passion lie? Which path do I traverse?

March 12th 2009