Meaningless...?

"All is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 12:9

Sometimes (for me at least) life feels that way; meaningless.  I don't know my purpose and calling here on earth.  I feel so restless and unfulfilled.  What's the point of dreams if there's no way they'll ever come true?  What's the point of dreaming if you must wake again to the monotony of reality?  What am I here for?  How can I prepare for the future if I have no clue whatsoever What I may be doing in the next year/decade...?

I'm tired of being bored.
I'm tired of having dreams that I can't turn into goals.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of monotony.
I'm tired of wanting the impossible.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing out on life.
I'm tired of feeling restless.
I'm tired of feeling unfulfilled.
I'm tired of being so busy and filling my life with things that don't make me feel better, but just distract me for the moment.
I'm tired of complaining about how I'm feeling.
So I'm done.
I don't have a solution to my problems, but my God does.
Maybe I should start seeking Him to fill the void inside of me instead of trying to fill it with all that is meaningless.
I tend to get so caught up in the way I feel and my 'problems' that I forget to keep my eyes on the One who put me on this earth and gave me a purpose.  The One who is calling me to greatness.
Perhaps its time for some repentance and a change of perspective.
Maybe everything's not so meaningless after all...

"Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved priviledge where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory."
Romans 5:2

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."
Philippians 3:13

"But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness."
2 Peter 3:13

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come."
Hebrews 13:14

Beth

P.S.  It's truly amazing how just writing this out totally changed my mood from being mopish and depressed to feeling hope and looking forward to tomorrow (or I guess later today...)

All Of You

So, for the longest time I wasn't sure if I wanted to post this song that I wrote, because I thought that some people may get offended, but then I remembered that pretty much nobody reads my blog anyway, so I decided to post it.
I was in bed one night thinking about how we as human beings, and even as Christians, hurt God, mostly without even knowing. We grieve his Spirit when we put other things ahead of Him in our lives, or have the wrong attitudes or motives, or just don't do things we know are right. And even though He forgives us readily, we still need to repent of the things we do regularly, if we ever plan on changing for the better. To repent simply means to change your mind about and turn away from something. I think so often, Christians stereotypically have this mindset that no matter what we do, its ok, because God forgives us. So therefore, its ok to do anything. And that's a wrong mindset according to the Bible. And we need to continually turn away from and change our mindset about things that aren't of God. And of course He's always there to help us, but its our choice. Its our decision. Christianity isn't about seeing how close we can get to that perverbial 'line' before we cross it, but seeing how close we can get to Jesus!
Anyway, I was lying in bed thinking about all this, and this song came to me...

Why do you run away from me, Though I love you so?
Why do you turn away from me, though I've done so much for you?
Yes, I've been so good to you.

Why do you grieve my Spirit so, with the things that you do
Why do you keep on doing the things that keep me away from you?
That keep me away from you

I want you to know me as I know you, completely and intimately
I want you to love me with a heart that's true
I don't want just a part, I want all of you

Why do you hide your face in shame, and try to disguise your sin?
Choose to repent and turn away. Don't you know what I've done for you?
Just accept what I've done for you.

I want you to know me as I know you, completely and intimately
I want you to love me with a heart that's true
I don't want just a part
I want you to want me in all you do, no matter how small things may seem
I want you to feel me always with you
I don't want just a part, I want all of you



Beth