Just that kind of day...

Its a drowsy, lazy, cloudy, rainy day today.  Chilly and dark, its a good day for snuggling down by the fireplace with a cuppa tea and a good fantasy book.  Although there is nothing like the feeling of the sun warming your shoulders and face while you're doing stuff outside, I absolutely love days like this.  So peaceful and sleepy...
And inside the house is as peaceful as outside right now.  Dinner is on the stove, dessert's in the oven, there's peaceful music in the background, and the exotic aroma of a pineapple scented candle is wafting gently into my nostrils.
Though its Monday, I've had the day off and it feels more like a Sunday.  The house has been full this weekend, as my dad's brother and sister have come to visit.  Its been so lovely to spend time with them and show them around a bit.  The weekend has positively flown by, as weekends are always so apt to do, and though it is Monday, it feels like I've only had one day off.  Oh well, such is life - busy but good.  Good, sometimes only because God is good.  But good none the less.
With tea in hand, music in ear, and dreams in heart, I'm off to see what the future holds.

La'el

Meaningless...?

"All is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 12:9

Sometimes (for me at least) life feels that way; meaningless.  I don't know my purpose and calling here on earth.  I feel so restless and unfulfilled.  What's the point of dreams if there's no way they'll ever come true?  What's the point of dreaming if you must wake again to the monotony of reality?  What am I here for?  How can I prepare for the future if I have no clue whatsoever What I may be doing in the next year/decade...?

I'm tired of being bored.
I'm tired of having dreams that I can't turn into goals.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of monotony.
I'm tired of wanting the impossible.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing out on life.
I'm tired of feeling restless.
I'm tired of feeling unfulfilled.
I'm tired of being so busy and filling my life with things that don't make me feel better, but just distract me for the moment.
I'm tired of complaining about how I'm feeling.
So I'm done.
I don't have a solution to my problems, but my God does.
Maybe I should start seeking Him to fill the void inside of me instead of trying to fill it with all that is meaningless.
I tend to get so caught up in the way I feel and my 'problems' that I forget to keep my eyes on the One who put me on this earth and gave me a purpose.  The One who is calling me to greatness.
Perhaps its time for some repentance and a change of perspective.
Maybe everything's not so meaningless after all...

"Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved priviledge where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory."
Romans 5:2

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."
Philippians 3:13

"But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness."
2 Peter 3:13

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come."
Hebrews 13:14

Beth

P.S.  It's truly amazing how just writing this out totally changed my mood from being mopish and depressed to feeling hope and looking forward to tomorrow (or I guess later today...)

Daydreaming... Again...

Ah, if only I had the ability to make my daydreams come true...
So the other day I was putting on my makeup, and started thinking about what it would be like if I were going to the Grammys, or the Emmys, or the Golden Globes...  If I were rich and famous... a celebrity...  I'd set up something; maybe have someone I trust in a few cities I visit give me the name of a girl who is perhaps at a disadvantage somehow; poor, picked on, low self-esteem, terminal illness possibly... Someone who would really enjoy getting dressed up and treated like a princess for a day, but not ever getting the chance to.  I'd take that girl, buy her a gown, get her hair and makeup professionally done, maybe a mani and pedi as well...  And I'd take her down the red carpet with me.  I figure once you've been to one or two of those things they'd get kinda boring, like they're all the same... maybe I'm wrong.  But anyway, it would always be new this way, because this girl with me would be excited and seeing it through new eyes...  And it would be a great time...  And that's my daydream.  And if anyone reads this and thinks I'm silly, please don't say so...  Because I like to dream.  And that's all this one will ever be... A dream; a nice thought.
La'el

The Day We Meet

I wrote this song about the day I meet my future husband...
November 15th, 2009

If I could see your face right now,
I wonder what I'd say
Would I confess undying love,
Or would I run away?
I'm waiting for the day we meet
I'm hoping that I'll know
That the two of us were meant to be
I'll feel it in my soul.

I will wait patiently
For you to come and be with me
But I long for the day we meet

If I could hear your voice right now
I wonder what I'd hear
Would you say you don't want to live your life
Without me near?
Maybe I already know you
Only as a friend
One day we might just wake up
And see love around the bend.

So I will wait patiently
For you to come and be with me
But I long for the day we meet.