Meaningless...?

"All is meaningless," says the Teacher, "utterly meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 12:9

Sometimes (for me at least) life feels that way; meaningless.  I don't know my purpose and calling here on earth.  I feel so restless and unfulfilled.  What's the point of dreams if there's no way they'll ever come true?  What's the point of dreaming if you must wake again to the monotony of reality?  What am I here for?  How can I prepare for the future if I have no clue whatsoever What I may be doing in the next year/decade...?

I'm tired of being bored.
I'm tired of having dreams that I can't turn into goals.
I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do with my life.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of monotony.
I'm tired of wanting the impossible.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm missing out on life.
I'm tired of feeling restless.
I'm tired of feeling unfulfilled.
I'm tired of being so busy and filling my life with things that don't make me feel better, but just distract me for the moment.
I'm tired of complaining about how I'm feeling.
So I'm done.
I don't have a solution to my problems, but my God does.
Maybe I should start seeking Him to fill the void inside of me instead of trying to fill it with all that is meaningless.
I tend to get so caught up in the way I feel and my 'problems' that I forget to keep my eyes on the One who put me on this earth and gave me a purpose.  The One who is calling me to greatness.
Perhaps its time for some repentance and a change of perspective.
Maybe everything's not so meaningless after all...

"Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved priviledge where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory."
Romans 5:2

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead."
Philippians 3:13

"But we are looking forward to the new heavens and new earth he has promised, a world filled with God's righteousness."
2 Peter 3:13

"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come."
Hebrews 13:14

Beth

P.S.  It's truly amazing how just writing this out totally changed my mood from being mopish and depressed to feeling hope and looking forward to tomorrow (or I guess later today...)

"Breathe In Me"

So, for the last few years, I've been feeling spiritually dry and kinda deadish inside, and its been really frustrating, especially since I've been leading worship at my church, because people say that worship was great and that the Holy Spirit was there, but I don't know except through what they say. There's a song by Michael W. Smith called "Breathe In Me" that sounds like how I feel, so I've kind of made it my theme song and my prayer of late...

You breathe in me and I'm alive
With the power of your holiness
You breathe in me and you revive
Feelings in my soul that I have laid to rest

So breathe in me, I need you now
I've never felt so dead within
So breathe in me; Maybe somehow
You can breathe new life in me again

I used to be so sensitive
To the light that leads to where you are
Now I've acquired these callouses
With the darkness of a cold and jaded heart

So breathe in me, I need you now
I've never felt so dead within
So breathe in me; Maybe somehow
You can breathe new life in me again

While I was at work today, I was praying, and one of the things I was praying about was this desert-like ice age I've been in this last while. And while I was praying, this Bible verse came to me:
"See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."

Song Of Solomon 2:11-13

So, that was quite encouraging. I quite enjoy those verses!

Bethie